Fall Up Community Feature: Robert Jenkins
Hi Fall Up Community,
Some of you are familiar with my Dad, Robert, through our Fall Up Circles, or perhaps even through Grief as Celebration workshops. And today I’m very excited to share some of his wisdom, strength, and experience in our first Fall Up Community Feature.
In Africa there is a guiding philosophy called Ubuntu, which means, “I am because we are.” I have loved these sentiments for so long that over a decade ago I got “we” tattooed on the inner side of my right wrist. And I share this in the context of, I am so much of who I am because of my Dad (and his unwavering love and support). I hope you enjoy getting to know a little more about him and the ways in which he consciously and courageously chooses to “fall up” in his own life.
With love,
Jasmin
Robert Jenkins
A COUPLE OF FUN FACTS
Favorite comfort food:
Vanilla ice cream or buttered popcorn (or both together!!)
Favorite feel good movie:
Step Brothers or Dumb and Dumber
We believe that to “fall up,” through your grief is to embrace your grief as an invitation to grow and transform, but what does “fall up,” mean to you?
To me, “falling up” means that if someone/something is worth crying over/grieving then it is because that brought joy into my life and, ultimately, I am blessed and happy for that person/experience/thing which deems it worthy of celebration - “falling up.” That is not to deny or minimize the pain and sadness of the loss but to choose to live in the gratitude and richness of that which I had, not that which is gone.
“Happiness is a choice” and after the due process of grieving I choose at some point to dwell on the joy and richness that person brought into my life.
Where are you most practicing “falling up,” in your life right now?
The gratitude — there’s that word again — I feel as I shed more of my attachment to the material world and replace it with a spiritual focus on giving rather than getting; on real friends, love, and experiences that expand my mind and world. By letting go of my focus on “things” and simplifying my life, I make room for more meaningful spiritual experiences.
Which invitation from The Fall Up Method (the pause, the breath, the feeling, the healing), is calling to you most now? And how are you embracing this calling?
“The Feeling” is calling me most. Now that I am emerging from the cocoon and lockdown of COVID and the ashes of a bitter divorce, I want to make sure that I have not buried any feelings that I may have compartmentalized while exclusively focusing on building my defense in the divorce over the last two years.
I am embracing this by talk therapy, plant medicine, and journaling.
Anything you want to share about what you’re grieving or what you’re celebrating right now?
I AM GRIEVING:
My mother’s life at 98 is so challenging for her, both mentally and physically.
My English bull dog that I lost in my divorce in Brazil.
I AM CELEBRATING:
I am healthy, have food, and a nice place to live.
I AM LOVED AND HAVE A LOT OF DEAR FRIENDS.
What are you most looking forward to about being the featured guest on season one of The Falling Up podcast?
Supporting my daughter in this endeavor and hopeful that some of my life experiences will resonate with the listeners.
For those who may be hesitant to begin their grief healing and integration journey, what words of wisdom would you like to offer to them?
Grief does not simply go away if you ignore it, compartmentalize it, or bury it: it stays with you until you face it and embrace it — “fall up” with it — head on.
Having lost both a wife and a son, I can say, unequivocally, that my experience is that time does not heal all wounds!! Rather the pain can diminish and even mutate into joy that we had people in our lives worth grieving, but only if we embrace the pain of the loss and grieve it.
