Fall Up Community Feature: Eganie González Zaga

Hi Fall Up Community,

Honoring each of you with presence and heart as we move more fully into the end of this year.

And today I'm excited to introduce you to longtime Fall Up Community member, Eganie González Zaga. Throughout our time working together, Eganie has been so dedicated to growing through her grief — showing up not just for Mentorship, but also for Fall Up Circles including our Father and Sacred Self-Mothering Circles.

There's a lot of beauty for you within Eganie's reflections, so before reading, an invitation to get grounded in your heart — whether through your breath, a hot tea, or lighting a candle, and prepare yourself to receive what is there for you within Eganie's Fall Up Community Feature.

Lastly, we honor that today, October 20th, is Eganie's late Father, Ruy's birthday. Happy birthday, Ruy!

Remember: you are not alone, and together we fall up!

With love,

Jasmin

Eganie González Zaga

A COUPLE OF FUN FACTS

Favorite comfort food:
Raw oysters or clams with lemon and Tabasco sauce

Favorite feel good movie:
Anything with Richard Gere feels good and cozy

Favorite power song: Lately, “Time After Time” by Eva Cassidy. But a forever favorite for me: “Todo se Transforma” by Jorge Drexler. I encourage anyone reading this to search for the English translation, it is a jewel.

We believe that to “fall up,” through your grief is to embrace your grief as an invitation to grow and transform, but what does “fall up,” mean to you?

Fall Up is such a strong and powerful phrase for me. It’s funny to be asked about this now, since just recently, after almost a year with Jasmin and the community, I paused to see and realize the power of these two words and how true they can become, if our will is not only to heal but to become wiser and happier. “Fall Up” in just these two words I find hope, encouragement, confidence and support.

Where are you most practicing “falling up,” in your life right now?

OMG! I think I am Falling Up in every single aspect of my life. Like Jasmin has told me over and over, I am shedding layer by layer. My father’s death has brought to surface the deepest wounds and mental and emotional chains that were restraining me from living and loving the way my heart deeply desires.

I am falling up from all the loss, anger and pain I’ve encountered through my life and beyond. 

Which invitation from The Fall Up Method (the pause, the breath, the feeling, the healing), is calling to you most now? And how are you embracing this calling? 

I’m sure Jasmin would back me up by saying that I have used each one of the first three more than once, over and over during this year that I’ve been fortunately working with her by my side. I have taken refuge in each one of them and have found a home in them, too.

I think I’ve finally got in contact with the healing invitation, which gives me a big spark of joy and hope. Nevertheless I know I will keep on practicing all of the other invitations.

Anything you want to share about what you’re grieving or what you’re celebrating right now?

I AM GRIEVING:

The loss of the physical body of my father, the loss of the girl I was before his departure. The loss of the unconscious security it gave me to have him here. I am also grieving every loss and abandonment feeling I’ve suffered along my life. I’m grieving the realization of the places where I’ve abandoned myself, my own heart, and my own life. Sometimes I feel I’m even grieving future losses.

I AM CELEBRATING:

I learned that the intensity of our grief equals the intensity of our love, I would like to celebrate the immense love I have for my father. I knew my love for him was super strong, but my grief has made me discover how infinite this love is. I am celebrating his wonderful life that touched so many hearts. The teachings, the words and the love he brought to me and to the world that will remain forever. I celebrate grandiously the new connection/relationship I’ve discovered with my father, and acknowledging it is possible to still be together. I am celebrating the woman I am becoming by turning to see me, by taking control over my life and re-parenting myself. Celebrating the wisdom I’ve received through my grief, the gift of having new lenses to see the world. Lenses with which I see and feel the infinite love and protection around, as well as inside of us. And I am celebrating the possibility that lies ahead of me, that will make my deepest wishes come true. I just have to keep reminding myself to TRUST. “Happy Birthday Pá.”

For those who may be hesitant to begin their grief healing and integration journey, what words of wisdom would you like to offer to them? 

If you are having thoughts about beginning your grief healing journey, listen. If you’re feeling called into healing, it's because there is something waiting for you. Like Jasmin one time told me: “You are special, the Universe is calling you and you just have to answer.” And I will add: “Keep on answering every time.”

Jasmin has been an angel through whom the Universe keeps on showing me support, companionship, and help. If you have crossed paths with her or with Fall Up, it is not a coincidence.

Photos: Eganie, her Dad, Ruy, and her beloved dogs.